Do you ever feel when you shift ? I am not sure if its maturity or if its just life. Things I am afraid of are my heart getting hard. That scares me. I would like to be able to love completely with my whole heart with out being too afraid of the what if's. This for me means loving my kids for everything the are . Working hard on not trying to be to scared of them getting older. You know how growing up people we had not seen in a long time would tell our moms oh! my I cant believe that's Gloria she was so little last time I saw her. I hear that happening with my kids and I get just a little sad . Its kinda crazy don't you think..We start as little babies and now we have babies . Maybe we don't have kids but we are big girls now. We are WOMAN !! ..AARRGGGHHHyyeeaahhhbbBBEEAAUUTTIFULLcomplicatedHapppysadPassIONATEfemales.
This is the point were you are being transported into my head. I am afraid of getting hurt a boy/man. I know if you don't take a chance you'll never give anyone the opportunity to love you. Here are my thoughts on that. I am making choice to love this man I met 100% and hope that if worse case scenario happens meaning( broken heart thing) I will in that have had the opportunity to love someone completely and know I went all out.
We need to survive and make it . We need to take chances in love in relationships in our own space..It could be as easy as painting your dining room wall red..Its taking chances.. letting go of pieces and stories of our life that don't serve us anymore... Is that not the coolest statement... Let go !!!! which for me goes hand in hand with forgiving myself for unfortunate situations that I was a part of or were a part of my life. I don't want to think anymore about who's fault it is rather I just want to practice looking at the situation and seeing what part of it I responsible for and working on that.
Here is what I have learned about me in the last three months..That I believe goes for all of us. First of all we can choose to survive just about anything (really) and come out on top. That on top for me means I dont want to be scared anymore. I think we need to take an active role in our own survival. We need to surround ourselves with people we know are going to help us stand tall not pull us down. This is very important . I have heard many woman say I don't have any creative friends or my girlfriends live in Texas..Go out and meet girls. The How.. Learn to knit and join a knitting group at your local yarn store.. Take a class (beading or painting or creative writing ) have an art class at your house.. Honestly you learn to do anything on yo tube..Invite someone from work or the gym or school to come over and learn to crochet with you...Its that active role in finding friends who will keep your heart happy. We need to nurture our souls. This means reading books that are good for us. Listening to music that enriches our life. I can't tell you how many times I end up listening to really sad music and then wonder why do I feel this way..Hello G..what do expect go make some yes Cd's. The whole surrounding ourselves with love.. I heard at unearth that making a little shrine is good for your soul too. I have to do that but then again I think my house might look like a shrine. HHmmmm...
So oh !!! man growing up and maturing at 38..What a concept....I believe that if we stand up straight hold our head up high, believe in our dreams and love each other all whole hearted somehow life turns out kinda fantastic.....
With all love,