Thursday, December 29, 2011

She Let go

As This year come to an end I am grateful for what I have been through, overcome , created,  the people I have loved and all those moods that make up me. I was hiding and sleeping through so much but thats all over now. I will be 40 next year and I am so excited. I am starting over  and I am ok. I believe our biggest fear is fear itself and if only we just believed in ourselves as much as out best girlfriend does.... well the rest would be amazing...
I was looking for my most favorite read of the year and no its not a book its a quote...

She let go

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
Ernest Holmes
Good Stuff

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone has a magical Day.
Today is a perfect day to be grateful . Its that day when we look around and feel the love.
There are so many things about the holidays that make it special lets just focus on that.
Merry Christmas

Thursday, December 22, 2011

This week.

I got to wear cute rain boots this week because it rained in San Diego..
My rain boots lead me to my happy place this week.

This week I also decorated my sisters room..I made look so fun and festive and happy.

This week since I don't have my kids I spent as much time as I could with my Angel sister.
I adore my sister..and I can honestly say that I feel so incredibly happy being with her as much as I can..

Sunday, December 18, 2011

My sweet little sister

I am  here at the hospital . I am sitting on a bed we keep in my sisters room. There is always someone here with her. We never leave her alone. She cant talk to tell anyone what is wrong but those of us that love her well we know what she wants. She is an angel that was sent down to this earth why she must suffer so much.. I don't know. I do know that she is here to teach everyone around her about unconditional love. She is love at its best. I have spent more time with her in the last 2 and half months than I have in a long time. When we were little I remember playing with her and how much I liked feeding her. I also remember how much my mom hurt when she needed to have surgery. I recently remembered that when I was younger and I found an eyelash or I blew out my birthday candles I always wished that when I woke up in the morning my little sister would be walking..
I am writing this because I feel that through all of the this the good times and the scary ones..watching my mom cry at children's Hospital because my sister was sick or the times I would play dolls with my sister and she was the doll.  She has taught me true love. I feel I have learned to fully feel. She has taught me empathy and compassion. In the last two weeks I reached out to an old friend to ask if she could also help out here at the hospital but I had to open my heart and forgive to do it..It was a-lot easier than I thought and i feel so much better because of it too. I think my sister is always teaching me. I am grateful for everything she gives me ,,I am grateful to be in her presence. Tonight she is not doing so well so I ask you to keep her in a prayers..


Friday, December 16, 2011

Sea Side by Elena

My girlfriend had another awesome Charity fundraiser..
Sea Side.. I am not really sure how she does it ..but she does an amazing job of putting together these events and raising tons of money for amazing causes. She helps people who really need it.

Did I forget to say that it was also her Birthday..
I had a super time , I won Isabella and Paola some really cute homemade Christmas gifts at the action.

I love how Elena let me keep this cute banner that now is kept over my art Nook...
Have a great weekend and be safe..
no drinking and driving k

Saturday, December 10, 2011

15 days until Christmas

I am very happy because we got our Christmas Tree last night.
First tree in my own house with my fabulous kids
and Carrie brought me my first Christmas present for this season
and I love it..Thank you Carrie..
Have a great Saturday ,I am celebrating my Friends Elena's Birthday Part today.
Life is good.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Have you chosen your word yet?

I was thinking about my word for next year ?
Have you chosen a word yet ?
I credit Ali Edwards for implementing this tradition into my life...
So I am thinking about goals and dreams and yes my word?


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Here I am..

Here I am..
OK Ladies and just maybe gents..
I have been M I A because I moved out of my old house into my new home..
I am going to be totally honest with this story ready.. set.. go..
I don't know about you but when I read some one's blog I imagine there life is perfect but if I stop and get myself out of my pink world I know everyone has obstacles they need to over come.
I just overcame one of my biggest life obstacles.
I now live in my own house. I am renting but its mine.
I was so afraid to leave my big house on the golf corse but even though it was big, pretty it had so many bad memories. It had so much of him in there even though he was gone.  I am sure I am not the only one who hates change, it's definitely not my favorite thing. I knew I had to move by Dec 1st and I did it. It was not easy.. I cried a-lot got rashes and my insecurity level was at an all time high.. However,  getting out of that space and into this new house has in some way cleansed me. The new house is perfect, very cute and most importantly it's ours. The best part is it all the memories created in this house will be ours.  The positive ones that I am going to create with my kids. Our own magical traditions. I am very excited to start over, be smart, dream and be me. There will be nothing but love in this house.  Oh I almost forgot... guess what this new house has in my new bedroom, a tiny extra room and its going to be my Art Nook.
On this day I am oh so very grateful that somehow I am standing here in this perfect little space.
You know when I got one of my tattoos (a while back) I had the word free tattooed on me, and now it all makes sense...
I am free
no more stomache aches because HE was coming home.
no more trying to find my happy place

no more rashes 
I love my blog and I am feeling really blessed today.
I have the most amazing kids
and now my very own little place I will call home..