Friday, September 14, 2012

On not giving up

Eight days from today I will be participating in my second 50k.
Every time I think about it my tummy hurts just a little. You know that kind of cool feeling when you know you are going to put yourself in a situation that you might fail at but not trying is not an option. That's the feeling in my tummy..I have tried running this distance once before and I failed...I got to mile 22 and that's it.
  I feel I can run this distance but then there is that little voice in my head saying..what if G..What if ???
you can't
There are so many parts of showing up to this that make me nervous. Just showing up scares  me. I will be among other runners who have done this before ultra runners. Even though I know I am a runner a huge part of me thinks I am not. I am also shy at least I think I am so passing other runners on a single track course scares me too. I have expectations going into this too. I really want to do well. I want to not be afraid to do my best. Then I want my best to be enough..
The thoughts in my head go like this. This is not just a half marathon or a full what I mean is this is not just a race to me. This is an opportunity to prove to myself that I can do anything I really set out to do..What I mean by that is that if I plan and fallow through..train do the work then anything is possible right. I mean think about it.. I am Gloria a 40 year old single mother of 3 children. I work 5 days a week and I am just like you.. Just a girl trying to find her way..Here is what I do know I am a runner and a good mom..I am also a regular girl who next week will finish her first 50k. That's a long way right. I know this post might make me sound a do not know crazy..but what I really want to say is if I can train to do this..Then anything is possible as long as you
do not
give up.
On yourself.
No giving up allowed.
 If I Gloria can train to run a 50k and keep your fingers crossed for me I finish and I finish well.
Then that means that what they tell us is true.
Anything is possible if we do not give up.
To get through the hardest journey we need to take only one step at a time but we must keep on stepping.
So if we where sitting together at my table I would lift up my glass with you and toast to never giving up on ourselves.

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