This week has sucked and I feel like I am living through life under a dark cloud. A piece of our tight family circle has passed on. A piece of my life my little sister has passed. She left before I had a chance to say goodbye and that would be my fault. My sister was positive bright light. She really was. I had a race scheduled this weekend and I was going to skip it but then I had this feeling . I got an email from the Lost Boys 50 mile race . They gave me my bib number 38. My sister was just about to turn 38. When I ran my first marathon 12 years ago I had a picture of my sister under my bib and every time I got tired I would look at her picture and just knowing she was at home stuck in her wheel chair always gave me strength to run for her. My next thought is this time I can really take her with me. Then I sat with that and I just know she wants me to go run this weekend the reason is she wants to know what its like to run 50 miles. I figure she will be my angel pacer and that she will either think I am crazy or she will love it.