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Sunday, November 8, 2009

Sunday.... so soon...


I don't really know were this week went....I have been thinking about the fact that I really cant be super DE duper happy on my blog all the time and I guess that's okay...So all about my week..ready
The hardest thing that happened lots of papers were signed this week bringing an end to the longest relationship I have had...weird and sad..I guess I feel strange because I feel lucky and blessed in so many ways...I am sad that it didn't workout, I am blessed that it did work for a while. I am happy that we will do everything in out power to make things good for our kids, that we will stay good friends that we had great kids and great memories..I guess the trick for me is to let myself cry when I need to and to try really hard to smile and be happy...I feel that my core is happy , sad that we lost this battle but it was a battle for so long...That's not good either...
I find that if I just keep moving forward or backward whatever just keep moving the feelings pass..I know that's its really important to deal with it and going through it is better than pretending...okay, I am the queen of wearing rose colored glasses but as I grow up I find that dealing with the adult female inside of me that I am sometimes afraid to embrace is very powerful, I also find that HOLY...S..T..
I can deal with this stuff...It hurts but dealing with it has given me a sense of understanding about myself and what I can do...CrazY...I was the girl that was afraid to say no or just didn't speak up...because I didn't want to bother anyone. I know... silly it was just me..Hiding. I don't really hide anymore..I speak up kinda..when I cant .I ask for help...
This week I kept going and kept going...I made myself sit at Starbucks and hang out by myself even though I wanted to go home and sleep...I ran with my dad when I did not want to..I did a-lot of things I didn't want to because I knew if I did I would eventually feel better...and its working...I am afraid to share all this because I don't want my little blog to be sad but I also wanted to share..Our lives can sometimes get crazy difficult...but it keeps moving forward even when we don't want it too,Its just the way it is...so for me Surrounding myself with people who are true to our friendship.....surrounding myself with positive people who care....and having friends who are artist and teachers .hanging out with my peeps...all those things have really helped me. On my little path of life.
On another note I have discovered croceting...OMG..I love it !!!! I have to tear myself from it. It came at a perfect time...I have made a couple scarfs and some hats..and ohhh flowers...I even have a crochet date with a new friend on wed....She is going to teach me...so cool
I took this picture today and made the scarf and hat yesterday....fun hu...This week I plan on posting a-lot ....Oh I have a half marathon next Sunday too with this great guy that I love my dad...I hope you had a great Sunday....
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