Friday, October 7, 2011

This morning I am up bright and early. I have my beautiful green and blue Anthro mug full of my favorite coffee with vanilla creamer, YUM.  The sun is not out yet but it’s on its way. I am dreaming about all the wonderful events October brings for my kids and I.  Living in San Diego has its benefits...Sea World, Lego Land and Balboa Park are the ones that come to mind. I am thinking about maybe getting the kids costumes early.  I’m also starting to think of all the fun memories we will make...
 There is so much happening at this time. 
So besides my sweet sister the other big thing that's got my head spinning is I am going to be moving soon. I am scared but mostly excited because my kids and I get to create a new space that we will call home. I keep imagining a place that has a cute garage for all my crafting stuff... Change is scary but like everything in life it’s all in how you look at it... Be happy G. That's what I tell myself. It’s weird how different my life was 3 years ago. I was married...and I didn't have to worry about money. The one thing that kept me in my miserable marriage was how scared I was to leave. How would I take care of my kids... Let me tell you I would not trade the peace of mind I am experiencing now for anything. I don't miss the tummy aches I had because I knew he was coming home. I hated being near him because of the unpredictability. It’s funny how when you’re in a verbally abusive relationship you make excuses to yourself that this is normal. Even when you know deep inside it’s not. It affects your kids and slowly verbal abuse and all the stuff that comes with destroys your self esteem... It’s not worth any price. I am living proof that you can leave and be OK. Self Esteem can be rebuilt. It really can. You surround yourself with people who love you. You don't need a lot of people just a couple. Talking to someone helps. I think the most important thing is forgiveness. The one we give ourselves. For me it came in the car. I was alone and then I forgave myself out loud. I kinda yelled. I forgive myself and now I vow to love myself. I will treat myself with respect and make sure that anyone I choose to let into my life will do the same. I didn't plan to write about this. I love my life and all the wonderful things that surround it...I would not trade the size of any house or any amount of money for what I have now.  I have a healthy relationship with myself and all the people in my life treat me with the respect and understanding I deserve. There is life after a bad marriage and it’s pretty good. 

Hope you have a great weekend.

Everyday brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick of your shoes, and dance-
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