Friday, July 20, 2012

Checking In..

Hi...Friends, I thought I would check in and talk a little bit about what's going on in my life (besides running).  I have good news to share as of 3 days ago I am legally divorced!!! Yeah Me!!!  It took me more than 3 years but I finally got the SOB to sign the papers.  It wasn't easy in fact it has been a very emotional, gut wrenching journey.  They say if we are not growing we are dying and I definitely think I have grown as a woman over the last three years.  I also feel that good things are ahead of me.  My X-hole believes if he doesn't sign the divorce papers he doesn't have pay child support... As frustrating as this has been I hope to get him to do what he is legally obligated to do, pay family support.  Like most women the only reason I stayed in an abusive relationship was because I didn't know how I would be able to support myself and my three kids.  Ultimately, I did not believe in myself.  Guess what I did it! I am not living large by any means but I am happy. I provide for my children, despite the fact that X-hole hasn't paid me family support since December.  I pay my kids medical insurance because he does not.  I live in a cute house, I work, I am a loving mother to my kids and I think that having less has made me much more creative!!!  I am always trying to come up with ways to have fun with my children.

I believe in living in the moment.  I love my life and I am working hard on having peace with my past.  The demons that follow me where ever I go. There is a Zen saying I really like: “Wherever you go, there you are”.  It took me some time to finally understand its meaning, but maybe before I had not been ready to embrace the concept. Now I’m ready and my translation is: “Enjoy the process”.  You can't run away from your past. I love myself and if I have learned anything it's that self encouragement is huge.  I practice the art of talking pretty to myself. If you don't, you should try it, because it works...  Next week I will share some of the paintings I have been working on. They remind me of my sister.  I hope to put them all on my Etsy shop next week..

Ohh... One more thing I have been thinking about making a dress a lot lately... I think I am going to make that dream a reality this weekend... You know one of those A-line cream colored dresses... I have been feeling the need to sew.  I know this post is all over the place but my head is all over the place. So there you have it.

"My words reflect my thoughts: My thoughts reflect my beliefs: and my beliefs run my life."

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