Tuesday, September 11, 2012

I find this to be true

I am  experiencing the 40th year of my life. I am traveling through it with open eyes.  I feel like I am just starting to understand things in a way I haven't in the past.  For example what things are truly important to me (kids and running) and the things that are just passing me by.  This has become very clear to me over the last few months.  I know that running has some how given me the ability see things more clearly.  Last week I ran more in 7 day period than I ever have in my life.  With all that running I feel like I had an Ah-Ha moment. What you ask? I feel like I know what I want out of life.  

If I haven't already I am in the process of opening the next chapter in my life...  It wasn't easy but I feel I was able turn the page once I made peace with my past.  They say acknowledging ones faults is very difficult.  I know I have had issues trying to forgive others and myself.  I constantly ask myself did I do something that made her not love me? Was I not enough for him? Maybe I'm not must not smart enough... I am not worthy of... The one I hung onto forever...  A huge part of me feels like these where crutches...  The excuses I made for peoples short comings... What I believed I needed to hang on to the dream...

I had this crazy epiphany after my LONG run...

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple...Dr.Suess

I came up with this ..Today is the day that I turn my own page and I make peace with the past. This is how its going to happen in my world. I see the past. I forgive those I need to and I forgive myself for any mistakes I have made. I forgive myself for the things I should have done but did not. 
You get the picture..

Step two..
Making Peace with my story.The story that has made me who I am..Good or bad
I choose to make peace with it.

Step Three.
Knowing the time has come for me to write a new story. Time to live for today. Time to just be me..
that's's time to just be me.
I write these little stories on my blog because I hope that somehow my experience will help someone... If we all share what we have learned, during our crazy life, we can help each other through life's roller coaster ride...

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