Monday, May 21, 2018

Birthday Post

The whole birthday situation always throws me for a loop.
One of the reasons is because it reminds how fast my time flies. My kids will be  23,17,15 and 5  WTHeck
This past year has been an easy one. I love easy I have learned a couple things . I really want to be a better listener so I am consistently working on that. I also discovered I love reading. I have read more books in this past year than I have my whole life. This reading thing is amazing. I like different kinds of books I love good mysteries and girly books that are just easy fun reading. I also love  biographies. I also discovered audible and when I run I can listen to books too..
Ahh my love for running has not diminished at all. I freaking love it and I hope I can do it forever. I never thought ever that I would love a sport like this. Running  has sparked something in me I had no clue I needed . It has helped me cultivate inner strength and I am so much healthier too. I love knowing I can run forever and I love that in running ultras I can be slow or fast as long as I keep moving its perfect. I feel like I have a whole new family with my friend I run with. I love it !!
This year has also included grieving for Chris. I didn't know you could miss your x husband this much. I cant begin to explain how hard it has been for all of us and I cant speak for my kids but man I cant get over it. I never expected Chris not to be here or to killed the way he was. My heart aches for what he must have gone through when he passed. My heart aches for everything he is missing. I know and have felt this whole passed year that he needs to be here to see his kids going to prom and tennis games. You cant ever fill the space of someone who was taken to soon. I visit him a couple times a week and it just sucks.
I am living my best life and my husband is really a good man. He loves our family and he is so good to my kids and what more can I ask for. My kids always come first.
My greatest teachers I figured out this year are my kids. I am listening more and having date nights with them. I am really looking and watching and its awesome to watch someone you adore grow up right before your eyes.
I have to say this birthday was one for the books. It was all I could ask for. I saw my mom and sister and aunts. Had lunch with my dad and dinner with the family. I know I am right where I am supposed to be. I feel it and my focus is to continue to focus on the positive and keep growing in my faith and in life.

My mission is life is not only to survive but to thrive and to do so with some passion with compassion some humor and a-lot of love.

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