Birthday Post

The whole birthday situation always throws me for a loop.
One of the reasons is because it reminds how fast my time flies. My kids will be  23,17,15 and 5  WTHeck
This past year has been an easy one. I love easy I have learned a couple things . I really want to be a better listener so I am consistently working on that. I also discovered I love reading. I have read more books in this past year than I have my whole life. This reading thing is amazing. I like different kinds of books I love good mysteries and girly books that are just easy fun reading. I also love  biographies. I also discovered audible and when I run I can listen to books too..
Ahh my love for running has not diminished at all. I freaking love it and I hope I can do it forever. I never thought ever that I would love a sport like this. Running  has sparked something in me I had no clue I needed . It has helped me cultivate inner strength and I am so much healthier too. I love knowing I can run forever and I love that in running ultras I can be slow or fast as long as I keep moving its perfect. I feel like I have a whole new family with my friend I run with. I love it !!
This year has also included grieving for Chris. I didn't know you could miss your x husband this much. I cant begin to explain how hard it has been for all of us and I cant speak for my kids but man I cant get over it. I never expected Chris not to be here or to killed the way he was. My heart aches for what he must have gone through when he passed. My heart aches for everything he is missing. I know and have felt this whole passed year that he needs to be here to see his kids going to prom and tennis games. You cant ever fill the space of someone who was taken to soon. I visit him a couple times a week and it just sucks.
I am living my best life and my husband is really a good man. He loves our family and he is so good to my kids and what more can I ask for. My kids always come first.
My greatest teachers I figured out this year are my kids. I am listening more and having date nights with them. I am really looking and watching and its awesome to watch someone you adore grow up right before your eyes.
I have to say this birthday was one for the books. It was all I could ask for. I saw my mom and sister and aunts. Had lunch with my dad and dinner with the family. I know I am right where I am supposed to be. I feel it and my focus is to continue to focus on the positive and keep growing in my faith and in life.

My mission is life is not only to survive but to thrive and to do so with some passion with compassion some humor and a-lot of love.

44 peeps

Holy Cow Batman that was fast .
I just had my birthday and turned 44. I woke up on my birthday and for the first time in many, many years I had no anxiety about getting older or needing things to be different. This year I woke up and I knew that I am on the path I am supposed to be on. I am right where I am supposed to be. It was a great feeling.
I woke up made breakfast for my teenagers and then drove them to school . Then my little man and I went on a walk and even that was a sign that I was where I needed to be. My dad took me out to lunch and Jack and I went for a swim in the early afternoon. SO far so good. I drove home and picked up the my kids and reminded them it was my birthday !! They gave a me a hug and all was good in the world. Then later than night I went out dinner at a Mexican food restaurant that had mariachi. It was a really good day. My  big sister sang Happy Birthday to me and that made it a complete. The best part was through out the day I felt settled. I did not feel sad at all. There are so many reasons or stories I had told myself in the past that just made my birthday's feel so melancholy. One of the things I have learned in this past year is to try to be present and with that comes learning about the self talk. Its really crazy the things we tell ourselves or the negative self talk that goes on in our brain. I have been consistently working on that and lately something clicked where I now feel a calmness within me because that talk has gone down a  level its mostly positive. I am giving myself a break now. I feel like I have earned it.
It is nice to just be present and I also changed my view on WS. I am going to go into the race grateful to be there and grateful for every mile I am able to run. I will be proud of myself for even showing up and taking part of something that is so much bigger than me . I am going to enjoy the journey and stop stressing so much about everything else. My birthday wish is that my feet heal well and world peace. Happy Trails .

Birthday Post

I flew home on my birthday. I turned 43 this week and I find my birthday day is hard for me . I feel meloncholy during the day. This year was a little better. I pent most of the day with my awesome girl friend . She did a lot of very sweet things and the day felt special. I have no idea why my birthdays always feel that way but now that its passed I feel great. 

Here I am with two of my four kids . I am really happy I made to 43 and I have so many things to be grateful for. I have a roof over my head and kids I love and I am healthy. I saw an old man tonight standing by the taco shop I went to pick up dinner for two at. It is raining outside so he was just trying to get out of the rain. He had to be in his late 70s and he looked old and fragile. He had food that someone bought for him. He was homeless. I don't know what I could have done for him. It really hit me how lucky I am to have a home and a family and to be a year older. 

Happy Birthday Big sis...

Today is my big Sisters Birthday..

So here are

Ten Reasons why I adore you Angie

1. She sings to me all the time

( I love it)

2. She is a really good mom

( I admire you for that)

3. She has a great sense of humor

( you always laugh at my jokes)

4. She is a great belly dancer

( I learn from your moves)

5. She speaks 5 languages fluently

( honestly, who does that )

6. She has great style

( I admire the way you dress)

7. She has a very sexy voice

( I love calling you ,I think oh my sis is so cute when we hang up )

8. She is honest

( I admire you for that)

9. non- judge mental

( i can tell you anything)

10. You are so classy and beautiful

( makes me so proud )

(

Dear Angelica,

I hope you have a wonderful day..I love you with all my heart and you and I will be together for ever.. How lucky am I. I could not have asked God to give me a better role model and friend.. I adore you ...I love you...G