That's how I treated every encounter with him. They were all gifts. I was never mad at him ,I missed him but I never made him feel anything other than loved when I saw him..
I did miss having a dad. That's why now as an adult I am so grateful to have my uncle mike who is married to my dads sister. He has stepped in and is just like a dad to me.
Anyway, I was given a letter today that had been lost in some box somewhere. My dad knew he was dying. He had emphysema and he still smoked. I guess the Cigarettes won. There is a letter in the box to me from him..He wrote it before he died...I think I want to share it.
Its sad OK...but here goes.
To my little daughter,
My darling Gloria-sorry I let you down as your father you never let me down as my daughter. Please be happy for me. I want you to always be that way all your life- When we meet again I will make it up to you what I should have done for you but I didn't know how to when I was in the psychical body-I am sorry my baby. You will always be mine remember that. So take good care of your family for gram pa now. Oh my baby girl I love you so you ll never know. Say hello to them all for me everyday OK.
Daughter remember I will always be there just call me and close your eyes.
I love,love, love you
always your dad, Pancho
That's the day he died.. but I loved him with all my heart.
I just thought it was sweet to share and it really reminds me of how important it is to be a good father and mother. How important it is to love our kids all the time....and not pass judgement. He did what he could and I think being a dad was a-lot to ask of him at that time. I can close my eyes and see his face, its smiling at me..That's perfect for me...I do miss him and the what could have been but all in all I am happy and am so grateful for this letter he wrote to me....