Wrapping up June

This month is almost gone and with it its taking the beginning of summer and my 4th and 6th graders will soon be 5th and 7th graders. When school starts again they will have a little brother. My new addition to my family will be named Jack. I really like that name. Its perfect. My life as I know it now is making little changes some I have control of and others I don't. I hear people say let go and let be but man its hard sometimes to let go of things that have a major hold of you. I guess its all part of the growing process. Sometimes we have to let go to let our hearts settle. When I first moved here from Colorado I used to have so many girl friends and part of it was because I worked for a scrap book store here in town. It was a part time job and it was mostly just for fun. I loved being part of such a huge group of crafty girls. Now I have just a couple girl friends but mostly I hang out with my kids and family. I have to tell you something the hardest part of my week is when my kids are with there dad. My heart aches for them and I worry about them not because of there dad just because I miss them so being home on the weekend with out them pains me. I have 7 weeks to go until the baby Jack is here. I have been asked 3 times in the last couple days if I was due very soon. No I say I have 7 weeks to go.. and I smile. This weekend I am getting his crib and a bucket of paint and getting his little corner of my bedroom ready for him. The people who own the house I rent said I could paint the office in my room so that's what I will be doing. I am super crazy emotional this week. Not mean just crying like crazy. Long car rides alone make me sad. To much time to think about things I cant change. I thought I would be moving but it turns out I am not. That makes me sad. I think sometimes its OK not be OK. Its gotta be OK to be sad and that's what I am feeling.. I am going to spend this morning drawing with my little sister and friend Jenny then I am of to Mexico.