Choosing Happy thoughts

Its always easier to write about what we felt bad about after we have come out of it and are standing on the other side. I thought I would share the thoughts that I was telling myself that where making me feel almost embarrassed. I have been feeling sorry for myself. I try to do my best when it comes to being a parent and having a well put together house so I can go run guilt free so when I get to the starting line I always feel free and ready to do my best. This last year It dawned on me that my best was coming in near the back of the pack. I love running these distances and I have a wonderful time doing it. If I had a choice of going shopping or a fancy dinner and dancing or running a race or going for a long run I would choose running.
Here is the story I was taking part in a race and someone asked me how long is it going to take me to finish. "What's your estimated time ?"  I said  "we have 11 hours so I should do it in 9 hours ". Then just like that they said," oh so you will come in the back ," Its crazy that just like that these words a total stranger told me busted my balloon. It has been about 2 months and I just could not get them out of my head. I was thinking I am lining up with all these amazing runners and should I be there. I need to get better and faster. This is me being totally honest  I don't know if I can any faster. I am giving 100 percent so where does this leave me.  It's made me do some soul searching.                               The am I good enough situation.

This is what I came up with.
1. Am I really doing my best ?  I would say YES
2. Is this one of my great passions ? YEAH
3. Am I trying to prove anything ? No
4. Has this sport added to my life and my self growth ? Yes
5. Has this made me a better person ? Yes
6. Do I really care what I place I come in ? No

OK so with that said and I decided that everyone is entitled to there own opinion. I feel like my journey has lead me to meet great people and that I needed to do some growing up. Its difficult not to let what other people say effect how we feel about ourselves but its important to try and understand why this persons opinion hurt me. That's because I did feel bad about coming in the back. I decided to let that negative thinking go in the trash can. I am gong to choose before every run and every race to feel good and proud about my race. I am alive and healthy enough to run that is what I need to focus on.
Oh those f--ing gremlins can go suck and egg..
I hope you have a great weekend and here is to having a great life.

The Old West trail 50k ultra and 30k fun run.

Today I ran The Old West trails 50k ultra and 30k fun run. My dad went with me and I drove there at 4 am and he drove me home. I have never been to Shelter Valley before it was really pretty there. Specifically, in the morning before it got hot. When we got there it was 5:50am and I needed to pick up my bib by 6 am so I was feeling nervous about the getting there on time. I forgot how cool it is to get out of your car so early and see all the runners with flash lights or their phones making there way to the registration desk. I could smell breakfast at the recreation room and just made my way in there. They had serious breakfast situation going on in there. It was well lit and it was nice to see familiar faces and say hi and to hug old friends. I love the shirt it is so soft I am wearing it now. 

Here I am all excited and a little bit nervous . I saw lots of really good people I knew and that's always nice. I love the people that run these races because they are all so real. I was so conflicted as I always am about how much clothes to wear. I knew I would get warm with in 30 minutes but it was cold so I wore my long sleeve shirt. (someday I will suck it up for 30 minutes bc I waste so much time changing )

So off we go. The first 5 miles it was cold but it started warming up quickly. It was really pretty out there and the course was marked so well. It felt good to know I would not get lost today. I love knowing I won't get lost it takes a huge weight of my shoulders. I started near the back and I knew I had a long day ahead so I was fine.

This is what most of the course looked it. It was beautiful. I did stop to pee and take of one layer of clothes and I lost Mike's Garmin. :(  I put it down while I changed and when I looked down to get it it was gone. Everything looked the same so I think I must of taken a couple steps while doing that and then I just could not see it. I looked for 20 minutes and I just got more confused. Things looks so much alike in the dessert. So sad but its my fault. If I would of listened to myself and not wore the long sleeve I would of been fine. 

It took me 6:45 minutes to run 31 miles today. I came in 4th in my division. It was warm but my legs did not feel rested and I have felt so tired lately so I was happy with my time. To be completely honest, I am grateful I am healthy enough to complete a race of this distance. So if it took me 6:45 minutes then, hey, that's great. When taking on a challenge like this it is important to stay positive because I am happy. 

All in all it was a great day. The volunteers were awesome, kind and very helpful. They were excited to see you come in and cheered for you. They also cheered when you left. They had lots of good compliments too. This was a really well put on event/race. Everything seemed to go smoothly and they really cared. I also loved my leather medal.  

Another crazy run put on in the town of Julian, California. The heat did not affect me as much as I thought it would. I definitely made myself drink a ton of water (over and over and over). I almost forgot to tell you after I was done there was a full on buffet waiting for me.  

I find this to be true

Amen to this. I have have a tough time recovering from Sundays run. My quads and well my legs just hurt. They hurt going up the stairs and when I just move them. I am super sore. So I am taking it easy and doing some short runs because you know wheat they say.. A short run is better than no run. 

the first mile is always the hardest. Then you just have to keep moving slowly and after about 20 minutes things start to feel good. I find this to be very true..Baby steps lead to bigger steps. Even when my legs hurt like today I still find myself loving the motion. The motion of my arms moving and legs . I love that feeling when your moving and air does not matter how fast or slow you are its a body in motion there is noting like it. I have a big weekend ahead of me . I am excited to share it with you soon. DO you have plans for the weekend ? Are they running plans ? 

mini-vacation in Boulder Co..

I ended up flying to Boulder instead of driving..long story but that works for me..This is what it looks like as your driving from Denver to this sweet little town..Its so pretty here..I do love this town. It lived here for about 5 years and it was very good to me. I had a baby here met one of my best friends ever here. I started running here and I was introduced to the outdoor life here..My reason for coming was so that my x husband could spend some time with our kids..They miss there dad a- lot so I really wanted them to be with him..It felt important, really important to me. So, here I am...and hey, I do love this town so its a mini vacation too...
Here I am sitting at Pearl Street mall..Its the prettiest outdoor Mall I have visited..Its cold here but there is a-lot of sunshine..
There are all sorts of street merchants here...Like the guy who will heal you of anything..even something you might not know you have...There are massage tables set up outside and hot dog stands and fortune tellers and lots of live music...Its magical here for sure..
Here they are my kids with there dad..Christopher needed his dad ..big time..He was so happy to see him at the airport he cried...I know..sad hu..but the good thing is I am here and there both happy to be with there dad and that's all that should count right now..