Self-doubt beware.....

The whole artist thing is a blast but for some of us it comes with this huge bubble of self doubt...I know it is a learning process and I love that part of this story. Learning is great because you pick up all these new ways to make what you love look they way you think it should. Then comes the hard part..We think it should look a certain way and maybe after enough practice it will but we need to practice practice practice to get there. You know the ugly stage of  painting or a scrapbook page that just will not come together. I think we need to go through that as an entire phase in our learning or finding our style or honestly I think just accepting what we create as being good enough. I know this is just lots of words and they are difficult to practice but maybe if we have a road map letting us know what is ahead it will be an easier road to travel on..

I have sighed up for a couple classes this year. All of them I hope will help me accept whatever my hands create. I keep thinking what will be my challenge for the month of February and here it is. I will be sharing everything I paint or draw. I will do lots of water coloring with my left hand.. I think that will help me somehow. Maybe I read it in some article or maybe I am making it up. I am not sure but I just like the idea of it. Its funny when you want to get better at something  because your passionate about it . Its also interesting how maybe its just a matter of self acceptance.. We have to keep moving forward on our journey..even if its baby steps they are still steps. So here we go peeps we are going into the second month of 2013 and I am going to choose to love whatever comes. If ever figure out how to pop my self doubt bubble I promise you will be the first person I tell but for now I think I just need to keep on trying..accepting and believing that I am enough..
The classes I joined this year are.

                                   The Life Book 2013
                                   Be your own beloved by Vivianne 
                                   True Free Spirit Girl by Mindy

All of these classes have a similar theme. I honestly did not get that until last night. Self Acceptance and self love. The little fairy above is from The life book and she is going to be my fairy God mother of my art. You can still join any of these classes. 
I just want to write one last thing.. Do not give up on your dreams. You might not be completely clear on what your dreams are but you know it has to do with art because you love it.. Right , me too.
We must remember to be patient with ourselves and how  cool that we still have that bridge within us that allows us to connect with that younger girl in us that loved to draw or make jewelry or paint or draw.
            One of the feelings I love about running is that in those moments I can be any age.. I ran when I was little I run now its my timeless bridge to happiness...Creating art has that ability to let us be any age. You can paint when your 3 and you can paint when your 103.. Art has a timeless bridge that we can cross anytime we chose too..
How cool is that....

( pretty girl by Bella age 7)

So since tomorrow is the LOVE month.. I am choosing to try and work hard on letting go of any acceptations..

My mantra will be..

My creations are good enough.

Have a wonderful last day of January..be kind to yourself.

Go away Winter Blues..

 This time of year is always harder for me.. Christmas is gone and all the celebrating has come to a stop. I find myself feeling just a bit sad and tired. I was reading about this thing called winter blues and here is what I learned. They say that during this season we have to surround ourselves with our happy tools. I thought about what things just help keep my mood up..so I thought I would share..

EXERCISE

This is huge. I know many people just do not like to exercise but we cant always just do what we like. Sometimes we have to make ourselves do what we know is good for us. It is crazy how good just getting outside is for us. A short walk , a light stroll. Moving your body feeds our inner being with happy food.

What we Eat.

I struggle with this but I am trying to change my eating habits.

I eat a salad once a day and I have taken McDonald's almost completely out of my food vocab. I drink only water and I will have 1 beer a week or a glass of red wine.. One of the worst things for you as a girl is binge drinking..It messes up your skin. Makes you retain water and if you drink a lot of a Saturday you don't fully recover until Wednesday. That means your sad and swollen..Yuck

Have something to look forward too.

Having something to look forward to always help. Specially if your stuck inside because of the weather. A special coffee date. Maybe a day at the spa. Sign up for a race or a night out on the town. My local coffee shop has Tuesday night newbie night. I took my kids and it was so fun..So that's what we are looking forward doing next week. 

Rest

This is huge. I am 40 and I get it. We need to sleep. Lots of rest is a good thing.You wake up happier and you look better when you get a good night sleep.

Dress up 

I know that when we feel sad or bad the last thing we want to do is dress up. I promise you it always helps. Mascara and a cute dress and you feel better..and more productive..

There you go..I work hard to be happy and these things are my go to tools..

Adele and Bella

Adele.. her songs will eternally remind me of my Isabella.. She loves her songs specially this one. You will see her singing to herself in the mirror imitating Adele at least once a day.She tries very hard to sing like her and even though many a time her big brother looks at me while she is singing in the car with a mom please make her stop look.. I do not ever make her stop. I tell him how special it is that she is happy and to let her have the next 3 minutes.. He listens and just shake his head. I LOVE THAT ADELE'S MUSIC FOREVER WILL forever remind me of my Bella..On a separate sorry I have been gone I have not been feeling so great.This post made me happy...

Hump-Day Favorites

I thought it would be fun to share a couple of my favorite things that help bring joy into my life. First my new spring wallet that ca be found at Target I just love the little owl. Then there is my favorite little notebook where I draw little cartons everyday..My little sister sits in her bed and looks in my notebook waiting to see if I am going to draw for her then when I do she smiles big..It makes both of us happy.

Then there is my favorite coffee cup ever..I bought this from one of the most beautiful souls I have ever met Rachel Awes . I was lucky enough to spend a whole weekend painting with her. She is like a bright rainbow and you can't help but love her. You could get you cup  here.

Here is what I am reading.. 
My favorite magazine is Every Day by Rachael Ray .. I am not a good cook I try (kinda) but not often enough.Guess what looking at this magazine makes me feel like I try harder than I really do. 
I just finished Shanghai Girls I love books about old china and I can get lost in the stories about the beautiful Geisha girls..

These happen to be my favorite Lip Glosses at the moment. Viva Glam 5 and 6. My nails are making me feel sweet. I know its not spring but I just love bright colors. So on my hands its spring.

My fav Necklace
My favorite Necklace that I am in love with is my Danita Necklace.. I look at it and just melt. I met Danita in December she is a fun sweet,creative soul..I will be adding to my necklace collection soon I hope ;)
Here is a link to all her yumminess..
I hope you enjoy looking at the little things around my house that are making me smile...

Girl from north county

This song takes me back to when I used to live in Boulder Colorado. I can see myself driving in the mountains with the windows down. All I see are beautiful fields followed by majestic mountains. I see myself walking around the pearl street mall holding my children's hands and watching the street performers. I see myself running while pushing my double stroller having all the time in the world to just be me...  I heard this song and I wanted to share it with you. Close your eyes and listen to it just might and maybe it will transport you somewhere magical too..

The Ocean

After dropping off my kids at school this morning I felt a need to go to the beach.  I took my shoes off and put my feet in the water. I needed to be outside away from cars and noise.  I walked on the beach for 15 minutes until I could feel the worlds .  All I could  hear was the soothing sounds of oceans surf crashing on the sand.  It was hypnotic with all of its beauty. It always make me feel better...  I brought me self awareness and a connection to the earth.. It's amazing what a short walk and fresh air will do..

New Glasses

Hey guess what ?? I got new glasses .. Its kind of a big deal because I can see now. I had no idea how clear things are.  I was delusional in thinking things were just fading together, but I was wrong. The sad thing :( is along with these new glasses came migraine head aches..  So I have not been a happy camper..  I put them on and was so excited that everything was so clear... I guess I have to take the good with the bad.  I am trying to ease into getting used to my new glasses..

# 2 for 2013

I am definitely having fun taking Mindy's Class..I am excited to start my next girl .. This started of as something complete different but it ended up as a sweet mom on a boat with her baby.. The fox helps her find her way. I love cute things...
Have a wonderful Sunday..Keep warm.

Wild Horses

I I think about my dad often. I really wish I would have had the opportunity to know him better. I saw him on rare occasions growing up. I know he always drove Volkswagen  Van. The colors I remember him having are purple and yellow. He was tall and slender. He had a raspy voice from smoking but it was really cool. He was a musician. He played the guitar he sang too. He would show up and ring the door bell and then someone in the house would yell Gloria your dad is here.. I would run down the stairs as fast as I could and jump into his arms and hug him as hard as I could hoping maybe he would never let go of me. He would tell me stories and talk to me about his adventures on the road. 

He would call me into the room when he visited and would say Baby come here sit down I wrote a song for you.. he would then take his guitar out and sing to me. In that moment I was the only girl in the world...I often thought as he was singing to me how much I just wanted him to stay and never leave.. He always ended his mini Jam sessions by playing the Rolling Stones or Pink Floyd.. He had Long wavy hair and it was dark brown. I will always remember his hands too. They looked like musicians hands. This song reminds me of my dad. I wish he was still here. Or that he would of hung around me for a while but I am grateful he visited me when he did..I sure do miss him and his voice..and those hugs..

Oh Baby..

Hello and how is your week going? I am having a very  cold week.  Today it was raining most of the day and it was really really windy. I am practicing my True Free spirit girls any chance I get when I am not driving.. This started of as something completely different and ended up as a mama with her baby.. I love babies. Thinking about them makes me smile. The quote is
I Love you forever
I'll like you for always
as long as I am living my baby you will be.
I will take a picture of the whole thing and share it with you..
Happy friday
and the best part of that for me is I do not have to drive over 100 miles a day for two days..
yeah!!!

My Word...S

Holy Cow..
I really did have a hard time choosing my word this year. The last couple of years they just came to me but this year these are the words that have been swirling around in my world. 
So here they are..

CREATE

I love creating .. That includes knitting , crochet , paper crafting and Painting. These are all things that can hold my attention for hours and I never get tired of doing but I am going to put the word create in my world of  painting this year. I am going to focus on creating cute paintings for me and people in my world.

LOVE

This is a word that has a-lot of meaning to me. I love my kids that's a given. I wish I could love other people the way I love them. I want to work on learning to love unconditionally. I know that starts with forgiveness and I have forgiving my x husband. That is huge. I also forgave myself for the things I did or did not do that lead to the break up of my 9 year marriage. I mention this because my divorce was the most hurtful emotion I carried in my heart. You have to let go of those things to make room for Love.
I want to love unconditionally..again

UNFOLD

This word reminds me of a flower blooming. It holds a more spiritual meaning to me. I am going to work on the unfolding of my being. Letting myself become and grow and unfold.
Maybe this is all to much information on my  words but I am feeling the need to share..Life is not always easy and things we want to manifest in our life take work and changing the way we see things or do things. Self work is not always easy..Its hard most of the time but it is totally worth it..I want to let my being unfold this year because I want this to be the year I put the work in my spiritual being.
There you go...thank you for stopping by and
may your today be full of color..

Happy Painting

This is my first painting for 2013. I painted this after watching the first two videos in the class True Free Spirit. I really am trying to free myself when I paint instead of thinking to much. 

My darling daughter and I sat and watched the video together and she said mom please make your girl smiling OK. I do not want her to be sad. So I did as I was asked and this girl has a smile on her face..She is my nature free spirit girl. 

She is holding wisdom in her hands. Wisdom that comes from listening..

Weekend Time

Have a wonderful weekend.“I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, "This is what it is to be happy.” 
― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

She is Whimsical

 This was my last painting of 2012.  I love painting girls. I just like that every girl can be her own collaboration. I am learning to paint with no expectations. I am sure I am not the only one who looks on line at all the amazing artist out there and feels a little down with their own abilities.   My biggest creative fear really is not finding my own style. I do not want to copy someone else's style. I want to get inspired but I do not want to straight up copy someone else's art... I was at an art retreat and I was talking to Danita who is a wonderful woman and a very talented artist.  She said something that resinated with me.  She told me that it was OK to copy someones style because that's how you learn.  She said what's not OK is to copy someone's style and sell it as your own. That changed my mindset... 

This whimsical girl is living above my bathtub.  I chose the word spirit because she reminds me that I need to nurture my spirit.  She also reminds me to dream.  Dreams are like like a garden, they grow and flourish when maintained and acted upon. ( I read that somewhere) If you can dream her you can paint her...

Welcome New Year

I find myself so tired right now and yet I can not sleep. I have so many ideas rolling around in my head about 2013.  I spent the first day of the new year Hiking..(more pictures to follow) I love and adore being outside. Even if it means freezing.. My family and I hiked Stone Wall today and we had a great time doing it. It was a long hike and there was a little crying when one little girl got tired (not me). Once I put a little food in her tummy she felt much better. I learned that leather boots are maybe not the right shoes for the snow, but they looked so cute... I was surprised that despite the cold weather there were so many people hiking.  We do not have snow in San Diego so it was a real treat to see it.  My son could not stop making snow balls and jumping on rocks. All things kids love to do.  I also was reminded how much more easier it is to come down a mountain rather than go up... I found myself asking .. are we there yet ?

There are three things that melt me and they are Paola, Isa and Christopher. I feel so lucky to be their mom.  I am very excited to watch them grow this year...  I believe we have just started a new King Family tradition, the New Years day hike.