All about filling up

Sunday was a day that was all about my heart.
Do you have days that you feel you just need a break. Not a long break but maybe just a break. To do what ever you want and go visit who ever you want. Sunday was that day for me. Not all day but part of the day was all mine. I fell like a filled up my well. So I know what your thinking what did I choose to do. A tiny bit of pampering fallowed by a long drive to go visit my grandmother.

She went to heaven about 3 years ago and I had not visited her in a while. I felt strong until I got there and then it hit me how much I admired and loved her gentle soul. Her sweet little voice and her Love.

Then I went to visit my sweet sister and I brought her some more Christmas gifts because she loves gifts and because I adore my sister. I hung out there with her and we danced and you know how when you are with someone you just love like crazy everything is just right... How can you not feel good when you visit an angel. I hung with my mom and sat on her bed my brother joined us. I feel lucky to have my brother around he had a horrible car accident two weeks ago and he is really hurt but he will be OK. So I felt like visiting my family at my pace was something I needed to do..The craziest part was on the way home I did not have the radio on. I sat there in silence just hanging out with me and it was good.

Then when I got home and saw this face I melted and was so happy to be back but so happy I took sometime for me right before the new year.. 

One of those days

Let me start by saying  that I am super emotional right now . The weekends when I don't have all my kids are hard. My heart misses them. That part of getting a divorce sucks. Today we went on a hike with out my big kids. Just the baby and the adults. Even though I felt sad and incomplete with out them we decided to go a long hike. The mountains are something that just fills me. I grew up here but when I moved to Boulder in 2001 I knew I supposed to be there. I feel so good when I am outside but when I am in the middle of the mountains with my peeps. When the only thing I have to do is enjoy being outside and lots of hiking that just fills me up.. Today baby Jack went on his first hike. His dad carried him in this very cool back pack we bought with our Christmas money. It was so amazing to his his little face looking at everything and he loved the backpack. I think it must be nice for him not to have to look up at everyone but look down at us. I seriously wish I would of had 7 kids. I love being there mom. For me growing up I had a -lot of labels put on me that I carried for a long time.. Things I believed I was. The day I had Paola I knew was going to be a good mom to her and there was nothing that anyone could say to take that away. I was determined to be the best mother I could possibly be. It helps that you love your kids like crazy there your kids and after all are a part of us. So loving your kids is loving yourself. 

so now put the mountains and my kids in one place, even if its one of my kids and there you have it.
All I need for peace and love in my heart. Today turned out to be awesome .  Did I tell you I love the mountains. So beautiful . So all inspiring . Its crazy how incredibly lucky I feel. I have just what I need. Not more but just the perfect amount to make things flow. My dad was so funny today and its hard because I can tell he is getting older so I just want to take this time with him and put it in a box. 

Thank you God for my today for what you have blessed me with. 
So today turned out to be one of those days that reminded me to stop wanting things. Stop wasting time thinking about the past what I used to have what I lost those are all material things. They don't hug you. They don't hold your hand. The people in our lives do. I am learning in my older age 41.
I need to be aware that what I have is enough. That what I need to take care is right in front of mr taking care of me. I need to let that sit inside of me and make a home. Love what you have G. It love you. Do you see him looking at me. My little man I promise to love you and take great care of you as long as I can..

Merry Pictures

This Christmas was special. My kids are all happy and there was a-lot of smiles in my home.

Our tree was small but perfect. Our home felt cozy and no one got sick.

Miss P was all smiles as her boy friend joined our celebration. She is turning out to be such a wonderful adult. 

I tried new recopies given to me by a loved friend who cooks like a pro. I even lost my fear of cooking for a big group of people.

These two treated each other with love and respect and it made a things more special. The new saying in our home for 2014 is please ask for things with love in your voice.

and a very special baby boy had his very first Christmas..
My heart could not be happier. 

Merry Christmas

Wishing you a wonderful Holiday Season ..

Happy Holidays

Here he is the owner of every person who lives in my houses heart. Yes ..we all are all in crazy love over this little boy. He is starting to develop a his own little personality. He laughs a-lot and pretends to talk to me all day long. I am smitten with everything about him and I could kiss him all day long, I try and share with other people in my house but its hard. I think I am a baby hog and I love it and I love it. I know how fast the days go by so I am getting as many hugs kisses as I can. I feel so lucky that my 3 other kids can share this awesome experience with me.
He is just so cute...

Love this video..

Sisters

Last year I got up the nerve to give my sister a painting of her two girls and herself. She loved it so much that this year I wanted to paint her a picture of her twins. I think it turned out happy. My sister has identical twins girls and they are 5 years old. They are so cute so I picked happy colors that reminded me of there personality and I like how they are looking at each other. 

I love my big sister so I am excited that I made it with time and I just hope she likes it.

First time

Today we went to the park..Just for a little while and baby Jack got to go down the slide for the first time. First in his big sisters arms 

then in his big brothers arms..Yup…
not sure how much he liked it but he sure looked cute…
There is a first time for everything..

A little beach

Here is something I just learned or maybe I knew but I just got it.
Christmas is about doing a-lot of this..

spending as much time as I can with my family. What I have been practicing doing more is listening. I am leaving my phone in the car and just trying to listen better. I am not sure if that's proper  English or not. The more I listen to my kids the more they want to tell me. Sometimes that's good and other times I need more patience. I feel like I am becoming a better observer of whats going on within them when I listen to what they have to say. We play a-lot of imagination games over here so its always fun to see how the conversation will end. 

It goes by fast. I am still finding it hard to really understand this year is almost over and yes San Diego in December is 70 degrees. I even went in the water twice last week. It was cold but not freezing cold. Baby Jack is 3 months old..

This was his first time at the beach and first sunset. I will get to tell him how I held him while he watched his first sunset. even though his aunts and cousins and dad held him too..I will just say I did..

I am head over heals...

The Holiday are here

Hi and yes its December. Just when you thought it was a couple months away its here.. Are you thinking my tree looks cheap. Its the tree upstairs and this was half way through the decorating process..It looks better now.. My little man is getting ready to have his first Christmas and I am excited. I also find this month to be super stressful but I am going to meditate and  visualize and just chill. You can only do what you can do. I do love getting present for all the little kids in my life. I also love doing holiday type stuff. Like go to the Hotel Del in Coronado to look at there huge tree. I also love going to Down town and just walk around at night because its cold. I love getting hot chocolate at Starbucks during this month and making cookies and pot roast. I am going to focus on my kids and just loving on them this month. That's going to be my intention for the month of December…To love on my kids..We got all the Christmas lights up on the house and we even got a huge blow up Santa..Yes we are those people.. I love it. I am excited …Things are good. I am grateful I am in our new house. We have furniture in every room. My children are happy and baby Jack is here and he is healthy.. I can't really ask for much more…Happy Holidays and I will right about how I got hurt running on Sunday..Not good but I should be better soon … says me ..