Sunset run on the PCT

This Saturday instead of running in the day we ran front sunset to 10 pm. It turned out to be a magnificent sunset. One that I got to share with my friends. 

This is amazing right ? The sky was blue and yellow and crazy windy so the clouds kept floating by us. It was a great idea to get out there at night so we could try our night gear. I was freezing so I need to rethink warm clothes situation. That is why its good to plan.

The light was amazing. We ran about 14 miles and climbed 6000 feet I think . I called out for hiking so I ended up running at night witch sometimes I get scared to do but once I took of it felt fine.

All of these people will be running SD 100 with me in 10 days !!
crazy is as crazy does :)

Pacing on the PCT

The PCT 50 was two weeks ago today and a bunch of my friends where running it. Its 25 miles up the PCT starting near campo and then 25 rolling kinda down. My plan was to volunteer but instead I ended up pacing my friend. 

We arrived really early. Runners love the early morning thing. I still have a hard time with it. My runner had to run 25 miles up hill before I could pace her so since we had time to spare a couple of my fellow Trail Crashers and I went for a short 8 mile run. We ran through the meadows and it was lovely. Then I just hung out watching all the front runners come in and out.

It is always exciting to See the people in charge specially because I never get to see them run. If the race is an out an back I do but being a spectator is like having a front row ticket to your favorite show. (to me) 

My runner came in and off we went . I have not paced much so I was excited to be able to help a friend out and keep her company. I had a great time. My friend never complained she just kept going and talking bout stuff.

It has been really awesome watching my friend take on such hard races train her butt of and finish strong. Today was no different . 

Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
John Wooden

Birthday Post

The whole birthday situation always throws me for a loop.
One of the reasons is because it reminds how fast my time flies. My kids will be  23,17,15 and 5  WTHeck
This past year has been an easy one. I love easy I have learned a couple things . I really want to be a better listener so I am consistently working on that. I also discovered I love reading. I have read more books in this past year than I have my whole life. This reading thing is amazing. I like different kinds of books I love good mysteries and girly books that are just easy fun reading. I also love  biographies. I also discovered audible and when I run I can listen to books too..
Ahh my love for running has not diminished at all. I freaking love it and I hope I can do it forever. I never thought ever that I would love a sport like this. Running  has sparked something in me I had no clue I needed . It has helped me cultivate inner strength and I am so much healthier too. I love knowing I can run forever and I love that in running ultras I can be slow or fast as long as I keep moving its perfect. I feel like I have a whole new family with my friend I run with. I love it !!
This year has also included grieving for Chris. I didn't know you could miss your x husband this much. I cant begin to explain how hard it has been for all of us and I cant speak for my kids but man I cant get over it. I never expected Chris not to be here or to killed the way he was. My heart aches for what he must have gone through when he passed. My heart aches for everything he is missing. I know and have felt this whole passed year that he needs to be here to see his kids going to prom and tennis games. You cant ever fill the space of someone who was taken to soon. I visit him a couple times a week and it just sucks.
I am living my best life and my husband is really a good man. He loves our family and he is so good to my kids and what more can I ask for. My kids always come first.
My greatest teachers I figured out this year are my kids. I am listening more and having date nights with them. I am really looking and watching and its awesome to watch someone you adore grow up right before your eyes.
I have to say this birthday was one for the books. It was all I could ask for. I saw my mom and sister and aunts. Had lunch with my dad and dinner with the family. I know I am right where I am supposed to be. I feel it and my focus is to continue to focus on the positive and keep growing in my faith and in life.

My mission is life is not only to survive but to thrive and to do so with some passion with compassion some humor and a-lot of love.

Trying Training never stop moving

I kinda felt like a baby throwing a temper tantrum inside of me. I just wanted to sleep in and stay home but the idea of knowing I might be able to shift the way I was feeling by just getting up and getting out was to good to pass up. I asked my friend if he wanted to ride up with me to the mountains. This way it helped me feel accountable and my sweet friend told me I kind of felt that you needed me to come in order for you to be able to show up. Even though he ran 20 miles the day before he made the trip for me and ran another 20.
I am glad I went and yes something shifted inside of me. Even though I run a-lot the thought of a 20 something mile run in the mountains sometimes feels impossible. You know this whole being vulnerable movement and asking for help thing works. The run really helped and after 5 miles I was thanking my friend for telling me yes I will go with you. 

Some smiles are harder to come by than others. Life is about doing trying, experiencing the whole thing. 

So heres to not giving up with out a fight or a long ass run. Hoping you have a magical week.

What Slump

The what of what slumps ? I love . Let me say it differently I adore the happiness-magical-glitter that seems to surround me on most of my runs. I really do have a passionate affair with that feeling that comes with moving my body consistently in a running motion. My arms love the way the air feels and my legs love the stride. It really is something  I love to do...
I have noticed that sometimes that feeling gets zapped completely out of me . Its not a little zap. Its a complete oh my gosh where did my love for running go ? Then my minds tells me all these things I dont want to hear and before you know it I feel like I am going down that tunnel of insecurity and I feel like a loser.
I am in that place right now but I refuse to just sit with this feeling with out trying my hardest to get my glitter back. I do have this HUGE race coming up SD100 in less than a month.
So even though today I totally cut my run short by 15 miles and the last thing I feel like doing is getting my butt out of bed on Sunday morning at 4am to I can be in the mountains by 6:30.
I am going to do what I don't feel like doing . I am going to listen to all those positive self help sayings and I am going to show up and fake it. Will  it benefit my mood ? Will it benefit how I feel ?
I have no idea but I have to try because I hate feeling like crap. So here is to not giving up with out a fight.

Try and fail but never fail to try !!!
to be continued .....

Goodbye Lost Boys 50 miler

The bus picked us up at 3:30 am from Lake Cuyamca. They drove us down a crazy road for about 30 minutes and I was so excited for the bus trip to end because it made me feel a little bit sick. I have never been a fan of sitting in the back seat on windy roads.
To my left on the bus was  guy named Alex and beside me is Julianne. (my ultra girl crush) I had never met Alex before and little did I know that by the end of the day he and I would become good friends. 

As soon as we got out of the bus there was that buzz in the air. The weather was perfect just a little cold and not too windy. I saw a bunch of my friends and some new people too. There was 40 runners. I love this part of race morning. I stop close my eyes and just take in that feeling. You're nervous and excited and you know this day is going to be an adventure. There was about 5 Trail Crashers and that for me is the same as having 5 family members along for the same ride as me. 

This was how dark it was when we started. We started running and about a half a mile in someone says Gloria where is your head lamp and I said oh I don't need one the sun will be up soon and, before you know it, I fell on my knees. Then I said OK peeps that was my fall for the day!! No mas

The desert was beautiful it's stunning watching the sun come out over the rocks in the early morning. It is  truly magical. I knew by mile 5 today was going to be really long day. My legs felt heavy and I just was not finding that happy place. I decided to just take it easy and just keep moving. I kept reminding myself how lucky I was just be there. I knew it would be a long day but I was surrounded by beauty and awesome humans. 

I was able to spend some time with my friend Colleen. I love hanging out with friend and running with them for miles in crazy awesome places it makes our friendship so special just knowing you had that time together. We helped each other up the crazy climbs and just kept making our way forward. This is a hard race so the trick is to keep eating and drinking and moving. 

Going up Orriflame was brutal, but I found a couple friends and we all struggled up together. It was hot and the headwinds did not help either. We saw this rattlesnake crossing the road . It was so much bigger in person. I finally ended up run walking with a new friend and I got to hear all his stories. We did the ultra shuffle and picked up two more friends along the way and eventually made our way to the top. You do the happy dance at the top of Orriflame. I always feel like when you get up there you should get a half medal or something. Lets see by this time a couple friends had gotten lost but found there way back. Other friends where throwing up. I was tired and a bit slow and my body just felt off . I know thats those are the times you need to just keep moving and specially when your running and climbing a race like Lost Boys. The key keep moving don't get discouraged and yes its hard but if it was easy everyone would do it. My mantra for this race was just because I feel something does not make it true. Sometimes specially out here feelings need to be put aside and you just need to keep moving. 
Things that made me happy on this race while struggling to make 50 miles happen on the crazy rocky course. Seeing Gemma along the way and knowing that even though yes she got lost she felt a bit discouraged she has what it takes to just crush it and she did. She got first place female. Then seeing Ilian along the way and just watching her help so many people. If your running by her and you need anything she probably has it. Oh  yeah I started throwing up for bit and when I was feeling just yuck I Phillip and Daniel and we all decided that running together would be so great for us. At this point we felt done but that was not an option yet. So we made it a 3 person ultra shuffle support group and with about 14 miles to go and Cuymaca Peak in our future we made our way together and got it done. In the last 10 miles Alex our new friend joined us and once again it was story time. He had so much to tell me the time flew by. That lake cuymaca finish was so hard. All those rocks my feet hated me but Alex and I crossed that finish line together.

It took me over 13 hours to finish and it was honestly so so hard. I never felt good or found my happy place. I just kept moving forward and made my way to the finish line. I love this race and I am sad its the Last Lost boys. I did get to run it 3 times so I feel very lucky and I can't say enough about the Ultra community and the volunteers. The race was amazing and Brian Gonzales puts on a class A event. (  I never got lost ) If you know me you understand the event was very well marked. One of the biggest reasons I love this race is because this was that race for me. The one that really scared that I thought I could never finish . Are you crazy G. Have you seen the elevation on this thing and its  so technical but I closed my eyes the first time I pressed pay on Ultra Signup and hoped for the best. Like my dad always tells me Princes showing up is half the battle. This race taught  me. G you can do hard things.

Dear past self, 
Thank you for pushing me through my fears. Running is really hard like I thought it would be, but I fell in love anyway. I do not want to ruin your story but I promise you if you stick with it, it will change your life.
Love 
me
P.S. the people you meet along the way will be in your heart forever