Look who is 18

I am officially the mother of a wonderful 18 year old young lady.
CRAZY
I know that motherhood has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Paola and I have been together for 18 years.  I can not imagine life with out her. Watching her grow up has been interesting fun and hard. 

I am so excited to see what the future has in hold for her.

I feel so blessed and lucky to have my 3 kids.. What could be better???
Happy Birthday Paola ...
I love you.

Noble Canyon 50k and me

I took this picture at about 6:45 am. I had already picked up my bib number #104. I also got some cool socks and a new running shirt. The weather was a little overcast but it was very nice to feel the cool breeze. My biggest fear was that it would get to hot. I do not do well in heat. 

Here is the starting line.. I can spot about 4 people I know in this picture. I thought it was cool that at 7 am they said OK..5 4 3 2 1 Start. There was about 150 runners. The vibe was really cool. Everyone was so nice.  It is unusual for runners to say "good morning" the day of a race but not here.  I felt so relaxed.. Let me tell you that I almost threw up twice in the car on the way to the race, my tummy was a mess.  I was trying to be tough but  I was so nervous that I wouldn't finish the race. Having other runners say good morning and good luck helped me relax.  The group of people that came to run Saturday morning are all good people. The first 2 miles where through the camp grounds.  I said good morning to a bunch of runners and settled in between two girls.  It takes me about 3 miles to find my pace.  So having a flat couple miles in the beginning was the perfect way to start.  I like to ease into a race.  I was so observant of all the other runners. There were all sizes, all ages, fast runners, slow runners all here for the same goal "finish."  Everyone just wants to do their best and run their own race.  I love looking in front of me and then behind me and what I see are majestic mountains and beautiful runners... I was in heaven.

It was a technical trail. Technical trails are narrow, dirt and rocky paths offering every variety of challenge that most people associate with trail running.  So I had to keep looking down to avoid tripping and falling on rocks. I ran a lot with my arms out to help me with my balance.  I didn't look very graceful but hey.. I didn't fall..  Along the way I had six GU's with me(w/ roctain).  I only needed 4 which means I was feeling great. I also had plenty of salt tablets with me and those would prove to be key. It looks warm in this picture but it was really nice.. There were only a couple times that the clouds were not covering the sun. This picture picture was one of those times.. Honestly the weather could not have been better.

This is how I felt most of the race..Happy to be there ..

It was beautiful out there. I prayed and I just felt so grateful. You know I spend about 35 hours a week with my sister. She has never walked and she can't talk or tell me how she feels.  After her operation last year she can't eat solid food anymore.  When I am out here in this beautiful canyon I feel really grateful.  Here I am running  and living my life. I always think I am so lucky. My sister will never get to experience anything like this and that sucks so I try my hardest with her in mind. 

Beautiful.. I never really got tired or felt bad. I did get a bad road rash on my back from the camel back in combination with the sport bra I was wearing . There were lots of aid stations and they had everything you needed. They even told you what you needed if you were to tired to say so. These people are trained to help you out. The second half was hard. It was mostly up hill but you just have to keep going and try not to walk to slow or sit down. I never sat down and I avoided walking as much as I could but I walked. I was surprised every time I looked up. It was so pretty and green. There was a stream and huge trees that provided much wanted shade. San Diego honestly has so much to offer. I kept thinking that I really need to bring my kids out here. This was and is an amazing canyon.

Here I am right before the finish line. I ran half of the race with my running bra undone because it was seriously chafing my back. I kept thinking about leaving my Nathan along the path because it stung but I decided to just suck it up. I knew I was about 2 miles out and I was so excited that I ran as fast as I could. My dad was waiting for me at the finish line.  He told everyone that is my daughter Gloria... so when I was running in all these strangers started cheering for me. It was such a cool moment..I did everything I could not to cry..

Here I am..Can you tell how I feel? Oh and by the way you have to kiss the Rat when you finish.. That Rat got lots of action..Yes I kissed it and it was a loud MUAH !!! Kiss

My finishing time was 7:37. That is what I expected. Thanks to the everyone who took the time to put this together. The organizers did a great job putting this race together. I felt secure and safe and it was marked really well.. I made some new friends John, Jeff, Mary and Cathy . I had a great time and I am looking forward to doing it again next year...I am so proud. I did something I never thought I could do but always wanted to do. I did all my training and it paid off. I finished!!! What did I learn about life during this whole experience???
Do not be afraid to work hard and dream big.  I did and I got a cool medal with a rat on it..

In less than 24 hours..

At this time tomorrow I hope to be done with my first 50k. My tummy has major butterflies. Here I thought I was tough but man am I nervous. I am going home now and I am going to get all my stuff ready..I am going to do my best and I cant wait to share my story..So send me lots of white light in the morning and I will do my best..
Ok I am off..Have a great day and I will check back with you soon...

Oh the flowers..

Here are the pictures of the flowers at the Huntington Beach Library. I told you they were beautiful. Beauty is every where you look..we just have to stop long enough to see it..

The Beautiful Gardens

Can you guess who this is ?
Aphrodite and Cupid..

To me there is something about driving far away to see something beautiful and new that makes me so happy. I double love road trips i really do... The packing and the knowing that wherever I go I get to explore a new place just makes me smile. I do not really get to do it very often right now but I used too and I am sure I will again . I do make it a point to go somewhere significant as often as I can. Somewhere new...
 So we drove about  two hours away this weekend to a little piece of Paradise. It was not to hot to begin with and that was great. I  used to take my kids to the Huntington Beach Library all the time when they were little but they did not remember until we got out of the car then suddenly it all came back to them. They loved it then and they loved it now..(me too) 
I do think march is the best month to go but I am glad we went anyway. It is so big and there is so much green and its like being in another place far far away from the real world. It is truly a magical place. I will post pictures of all the flowers tomorrow . It was a perfect outing for us.

Happy Monday

Pretty things on Monday..

A Sunday Tune

On not giving up

Eight days from today I will be participating in my second 50k.
Every time I think about it my tummy hurts just a little. You know that kind of cool feeling when you know you are going to put yourself in a situation that you might fail at but not trying is not an option. That's the feeling in my tummy..I have tried running this distance once before and I failed...I got to mile 22 and that's it.
  I feel I can run this distance but then there is that little voice in my head saying..what if G..What if ???
you can't
There are so many parts of showing up to this that make me nervous. Just showing up scares  me. I will be among other runners who have done this before ultra runners. Even though I know I am a runner a huge part of me thinks I am not. I am also shy at least I think I am so passing other runners on a single track course scares me too. I have expectations going into this too. I really want to do well. I want to not be afraid to do my best. Then I want my best to be enough..
The thoughts in my head go like this. This is not just a half marathon or a full what I mean is this is not just a race to me. This is an opportunity to prove to myself that I can do anything I really set out to do..What I mean by that is that if I plan and fallow through..train do the work then anything is possible right. I mean think about it.. I am Gloria a 40 year old single mother of 3 children. I work 5 days a week and I am just like you.. Just a girl trying to find her way..Here is what I do know I am a runner and a good mom..I am also a regular girl who next week will finish her first 50k. That's a long way right. I know this post might make me sound a do not know crazy..but what I really want to say is if I can train to do this..Then anything is possible as long as you
do not
ever
ever
give up.
On yourself.
No giving up allowed.
 If I Gloria can train to run a 50k and keep your fingers crossed for me I finish and I finish well.
Then that means that what they tell us is true.
Anything is possible if we do not give up.
To get through the hardest journey we need to take only one step at a time but we must keep on stepping.
So if we where sitting together at my table I would lift up my glass with you and toast to never giving up on ourselves.
 

Silvia

I finished another painting today. I named her Silvia. I am not sure why..That name just came to me. My sister has had to spend a-lot of time on her side lately due to bed sores so I sit next to her and she watches me paint. Its a great way to keep both of us occupied. I love love all the bright colors and the braids on her head. 

I love her..She looks like she is walking through the village looking beautiful.
She is heading over to my little shop soon.

Dreaming is good

I saw this on Tumbler...
I had to share.
This has to be the coolest stairs ever painted..When I have a house and if that house has stairs I am plan on doing something like this..
Do you dream about things you would like to happen. Do you dream bout the future ? I am a dreamer and I love to dream about things I want to do in the future. Mountains I want to climb with my kids. I dream about having my own RV and driving from the beach to forest somewhere I have never been before so everything I see is new. I dream about making journals with my kids.( we do this ) I still dream about it. I often dream about what it would be like if my sister was not sick. I dream about all the things I would do with her if she could walk or even leave her room. I also dream about great memories I have that just make me smile. I love dreaming it makes my soul happy..I hope you have a chance to dream today..You could do it right now!!

I find this to be true

I am  experiencing the 40th year of my life. I am traveling through it with open eyes.  I feel like I am just starting to understand things in a way I haven't in the past.  For example what things are truly important to me (kids and running) and the things that are just passing me by.  This has become very clear to me over the last few months.  I know that running has some how given me the ability see things more clearly.  Last week I ran more in 7 day period than I ever have in my life.  With all that running I feel like I had an Ah-Ha moment. What you ask? I feel like I know what I want out of life.  

If I haven't already I am in the process of opening the next chapter in my life...  It wasn't easy but I feel I was able turn the page once I made peace with my past.  They say acknowledging ones faults is very difficult.  I know I have had issues trying to forgive others and myself.  I constantly ask myself did I do something that made her not love me? Was I not enough for him? Maybe I'm not must not smart enough... I am not worthy of... The one I hung onto forever...  A huge part of me feels like these where crutches...  The excuses I made for peoples short comings... What I believed I needed to hang on to the dream...


I had this crazy epiphany after my LONG run...

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple...Dr.Suess

I came up with this ..Today is the day that I turn my own page and I make peace with the past. This is how its going to happen in my world. I see the past. I forgive those I need to and I forgive myself for any mistakes I have made. I forgive myself for the things I should have done but did not. 

You get the picture..

Basically 

I

forgive

myself

and 

anyone 

else

who 

has 

wronged

me.

Step two..

Making Peace with my story.The story that has made me who I am..Good or bad

I choose to make peace with it.

Step Three.

Knowing the time has come for me to write a new story. Time to live for today. Time to just be me..

that's it..it's time to just be me.

I write these little stories on my blog because I hope that somehow my experience will help someone... If we all share what we have learned, during our crazy life, we can help each other through life's roller coaster ride...

I love to run...

Here is a small window into my brain.  This morning I woke up at 5:17 and all of me wanted to stay in bed. It was warm and I was sleepy. Somehow I told my brain to shhhh for a moment as I got up and got ready to go workout. I just told myself not to think about what I was doing and just do it.. So now I am sitting in the car telling myself I have a couple of hours to run and that's what I love right ? This morning I went through every excuse in my head why I did not have to run...but that other little voice said..If it was easy everyone would do it.Lets go G..
every mile you put in will help you at your race.
Now I am running and I always start of slow because I am not in a hurry and because I am not feeling it yet..4 miles later I find myself in that really good place. You know the air smells so good and its so early you feel like your the only one up. The earth kinda tells me your right where you need to be Gloria. I kept going and on my way back between mile 12 and 13 I just felt this intense gratefulness for everything that is good in my life and all that is not. I felt so happy and I remember that this is why I run. My world was a little bit slower. I was outside..I love being outside. I never really thought about how much I love being outside. The sun was shinning and before I knew it I was back at the car.
I think those where some of my best happiest miles..So even though I just did not want to get up. I am so glad I did. I am not even sure what this post is about but I wanted to share...The picture above was taken right after my run...My run made my day...
I hope you have a wonderful weekend..

I little bit about me today

That was an unexpected blogging break I just took.  So I took a  picture this morning so that I could say Hi..I am back ! You know when you feel quite inside and you just don't have much to share. I was feeling that emotion for about a week but that feeling has passed over me and I also missed writing my little stories.
 My little ones started school today. They are in 4 th and 6the grade now. They love school so it has been very exciting being part of there world this weekend. They talked about what they like the most about school and what they don't like. They got new clothes and you could just tell they where both eager for it to be the first day of school. I felt very peaceful just observing my children in there element. 

In other news...I am nervous to report my big race day is almost here. I have 19 day to go until the big day. 19 days !!!!!! My second attempt at a 50k that's 31 miles. The first time I tried I only made it to mile 22 . I do have a reason why I could not finish but today it just sounds like an excuse to me and I hate excuses. Now back to whats coming up.

 Noble canyon

 This race  starts at 5500 feet elevation and running down the side of a canyon to 3500 feet. Step two is turning around and climbing back up the mountain. Then step 3 going up another hill until reaching 6000 feet and going back to the finish. That just does not sound easy to me. I have been doing my training and I added cross fit training to my schedule. I am eating better and I do wish I was more excited and less OMG.... I just think about it and I feel the same feeling I felt when I ran my first couple marathons. The major butterflies and just plain scared. I think its the good scared though. You know how you think you have what it takes and then the opportunity comes up to prove it to yourself if you can or can not. My heart tells me I can but my head tells me..G what are you doing ? You are not a  long distance runner.. It is a little strange to me at times that I love to run as much as I do. I see myself as a crafter. I see myself as a mom and a caretaker but my hobby that nurtures my being is running for sure. It has become something I do because it just feels right. When I think about early mornings I picture myself running. When I think about planning a vacation I think will I have time to run. I just feel that its the closest I get to being in that amazing place that gives me total peace. So with those thoughts in mind maybe I will run this race and have an amazing  experience.. What does that mean? 

If I  do not try how will you ever know what I am capable of.

I dont know I just hear this whisper in my head saying G you can do this..

just show up and go for it..So that what I am going to do. 

Thanks for reading .